Meet the expert

Mr. Lebohang Botsane

CEO and women expert

Mr. Lebohang Botsane is the CEO and Honorary Figure of Basadi Nation Media Group. He is a recognized expert in the fields of African women psychology, women development, and women organizational framework. With a focus on empowering women, Mr. Botsane provides valuable insights and support to foster their personal and professional growth in diverse settings. Through his leadership and expertise, he is dedicated to advancing the well-being and success of women.

1. Respect

Showing respect to your husband is really important. It means treating him well, both when you're alone and when you're with other people. It might seem like common sense, but it's backed by the wisdom of places like Pitikis and women's initiation schools, where they explain how men connect respect with love. Men value respect a lot. When you give it to them, even if you're not feeling it, you'll be amazed at how they go above and beyond for you.

Disrespecting your husband by using hurtful words, acting unkindly, or showing disrespect in public is a fast way to damage your marriage or relationship as a Makoti. If you don't respect your man, it's unlikely that your colleagues, friends, or family will either. Remember, how you treat him sets the tone for how others treat him. So, let's keep respect in the spotlight—it's the foundation of a strong and loving relationship.

2. Cooking & Serving

Cooking is a significant skill when you're aiming to be the ideal Makoti. It's not just about knowing your way around the kitchen; it's about understanding the kind of food that warms your man's heart, considering his tribe or family background. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and there's truth in that. But it's not just about the food itself; it's also about how you serve it.

Sometimes, you might encounter situations where visiting an African spiritual healer reveals that your husband's ancestors are upset because you haven't been treating your husband right, even if you believe you're doing fine just because you're faithful, not cheating and or not yelling at him. This is where participating in how to how to Kotiza at your in-laws' place, attending women's initiation schools, or engaging in pitiki becomes extremely important. These experiences help you learn not only the cooking and serving skills that align with your husband's ancestral and cultural standards but also the nuances that might otherwise go unnoticed.

In different tribes and families, there are customs you should be aware of. For instance, in some, serving your man food while standing is seen as disrespectful, while in others, presenting the entire meal in one plate without offering a bowl for handwashing is a cultural no-no. These may seem like small details, but to the spiritual world and your extended family, they hold immense value. Plus, you wouldn't want to unintentionally upset your husband's ancestors due to a misunderstanding, right? So, embracing these traditions ensures you're not just cooking a meal; you're serving a slice of cultural respect and harmony.

3. Sex & Women on Top

You might have noticed us talking about "Pitiki" quite a bit, and there's a good reason for that – it's an extraordinary place to pick up a crucial skill quickly. But first, let's unravel what Pitiki is all about. Pitiki is a traditional celebration exclusively designed for married women, with a strict no-men-allowed policy. It's a gathering where women come together to share ideas, offer support, and find solutions to their everyday challenges. These discussions cover a broad spectrum, including tips on managing relationships with husbands and building strong, resilient families

Now that you're acquainted with Pitiki's purpose, let's dive into a topic that gets ample attention here – the art of riding. Pitiki dedicates significant time to boosting women's confidence in the bedroom and helping them understand the secrets to truly satisfying their husbands. This includes unveiling the mysteries of "malwebe" and mastering the skill of wonen on top – a technique that can take your intimate life to a whole new level. The result? A delighted and fulfilled partner who directs all their desire and attention your way. Remember, a fulfilling intimate life is essential for both partners in a relationship.

But here's the twist – let's consider "women on top" from your partner's point of view. In his mind, there should be no doubts about your expertise in this department, especially when compared to past experiences. Achieving this level of mastery requires time and effort, but the rewards are a happy husband and a happy marriage that extend far beyond the bedroom. So, take your time to learn and master this skill, and you'll never look back with regret.

4. Emotional Intelligence

Understanding how to communicate with your husband is absolutely crucial. Often, we underestimate just how important it is to speak to our partners with care and humility, especially during moments of conflict, arguments, or disagreements. It's vital never to let your emotions get the best of you. Remember, your husband deserves respect and consideration, particularly in public settings where family, friends, or neighbors might be present.

Mastering the art of genuine communication with your husband is a skill set that's essential, especially if you're in it for the long haul. Embracing emotional intelligence throughout your interactions with your spouse is key. This means making calmness your closest companion and seeking out resources that teach effective communication with your husband. Knowing when to engage in conversation and when to hold back is equally important. Sometimes, your husband might come home burdened by the challenges of the day, so it's crucial to gauge his mood and the overall situation. This way, you can decide whether it's best to talk, stay silent, or simply offer your support and presence to help him through tough times.

5. Parenting Skills

Being a parent, or a soon-to-be one, carries immense importance. It's a powerful role, as parents shape the lives of their children in profound ways. This responsibility means knowing and honing the skills needed to excel in the realm of motherhood and parenthood.

As a mother, you play a pivotal role in deciding what your household consumes, especially when it comes to nourishing your little ones. You're also responsible for instilling values, attitudes, and, at times, discipline in your children. Moreover, as both a parent and a mother, your choices can impact your kids' health. It's evident that being a parent is not just significant; it's a skill set that demands attention.

To excel in this role, it's crucial to understand the foods that benefit your children, monitor their media exposure, ensure the quality of their education, and create a nurturing environment for them. Parenting is no walk in the park, but with dedication and ongoing education, you can equip yourself with the essential skills to secure your children's well-being in the long run.

6. Accountability

Let's talk about accountability, a fundamental aspect of being a wife. It's important to understand that when you're married, you become a representative of your marriage, both directly and indirectly. This means that how you portray your husband and your entire marriage is equally on your shoulders, and it has a significant impact.

The respect your husband receives often hinges on your behavior and how you carry yourself. As a Makoti, responsibility and accountability are key. You must take charge of how you interact with your husband's friends, colleagues, and family members. Flirting and similar actions should be reserved solely for your husband. Mastering the art of being a respectful and loving communicator with your new family members is essential.

Your attitude toward your husband and both families should reflect your role as an exceptional Makoti. This includes embodying qualities of humility and submission, which contribute to the harmony and success of your marriage. So, remember, being accountable in your marriage is not just a choice; it's a responsibility that can strengthen the bonds that tie you together.

7. Gossiping

Let's chat about gossiping, a pretty common thing in our lives. We all do it, and with your husband, it's no different. It's natural to talk about the world around us and the people we know. However, when it comes to gossip, it's wise to be selective.

Building good gossiping skills is essential, but it's even smarter to keep it positive when sharing with your husband. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, he might blurt out something you told him in confidence. So, if you've been gossiping about others in a positive light, even if he slips up, it's more likely to end well. Instead of creating unnecessary conflicts or drama, it might even bring you some unexpected benefits.

Of course, it's also okay to share some light-hearted gossip about people you both know but aren't close to. You can even give them silly nicknames, just for fun. Since they won't find out, it can make your pillow talk more entertaining without causing any harm. The key here is to keep your conversations engaging and drama-free.

8. Balancing Roles

It is essential bring your feminine energy to the table. As a "makoti," it would be reasonable and important to embrace your role as a wife. Recognize that when confronted with challenges, both of you should confront the issue at hand, not each other. It's crucial, for instance, to understand how to address and discuss matters, especially when it comes to intimate concerns. If, for example, your husband experiences genital complications, resist the urge to use these challenges as ammunition during disagreements. Such actions can create lasting wounds that may harm the health of your beautiful marriage.

Additionally, remember that during arguments, as a feminine "makoti," it's wise to filter your thoughts and choose your words carefully, particularly during heated conflicts. Avoid hurling hurtful words that can escalate disagreements. Instead, take responsibility for your actions and support your husband as the head of your family. Finding common ground and agreement with your husband can nurture a balanced, healthy marriage that may endure for decades.

Balancing roles may also involve offering support when your husband is facing difficulties in his life, such as job loss or prolonged stress. Reciprocate the care and understanding he has shown you in the past. Demonstrating empathy during his dark times can contribute to reducing the risk of severe outcomes, such as suicide.

Moreover, avoid financial exploitation; your husband may recognize that you are not genuinely supportive. Be mindful not to abandon him when he needs your assistance most, as this could lead to a breach in your relationship. Remember the Sesotho proverb, "moetsi ha a lebale... o tlabe o lebetse hore o la ka mmitsa 'lesepa la motho le senang thuso.' When he leaves you might be shocked. So, never forget to be a source of support when it matters most. Strive to preserve your partner's dignity during times of adversity. As a "makoti," prepare yourself to help maintain balance in your marriage when these challenges arise.

As we conclude, you've embarked on a transformative journey filled with rich traditions, timeless wisdom, and modern finesse. Throughout this article, we've unveiled eight essential skills that will empower you to shine as the best Makoti you can be.

From the significance of respect and emotional intelligence to the art of cooking and serving with cultural grace, you've uncovered the keys to crafting a remarkable Makoti persona. We've also explored the significance of "Pitiki" gatherings, emphasizing the importance of open communication and the power of intimacy. As you navigate the intricate path of being a Makoti, remember that these skills are not just tools but the building blocks of a fulfilling and lasting union. Your role is a blend of tradition and modernity, and by embracing these skills, you're poised to become a beacon of strength, love, and cultural pride.

Your journey as a Makoti is a vibrant tapestry, woven with the threads of tradition and contemporary wisdom. Embrace it with open arms, for you have the potential to be the best Makoti ever—a shining example of grace, love, and enduring partnership. Here's to your path, your love, and your legacy as a remarkable Makoti.